What if I tell you that America has always been black and white? The notion of America being black and white emphasizes the discrepancy that has always been prevalent in America. From when Christopher Columbus came over to when they brought slaves over on slave's ships, or even when our forefathers wrote the emancipation proclamation, to the civil rights movement in the 1960s. And even today, with George Floyd, Treyvon Martin, Philando Castile, and all of those lost to police brutality and suffered systemic racism. Throughout history, systems were written in a way to keep specific populations superior to others. They were written in a way to be black and white.
Since America was written in a black and white way, it has systematically shaped how people think and relate to each other. These relationships included our business conduct, who had access to wealth, property, education, and even who could marry who. Since such systems exist, many people have developed certain biases towards one another, even subconsciously. It is possible to be biased towards certain groups of people, even though we believe we are not "racist." So that leads to the question: How can we mend the racial divide? How can we become inclusive and provide equal opportunity towards people that may not look like us or even believe the same things we believe?
To answer that question, I would like to tell you a bit about myself. I am a product of a biracial marriage. My mother is a Caucasian woman from Brainerd, Minnesota, and my father is a an African American man from Trinidad and Tobago. Therefore, I am a child of two different worlds. Since I am a child of two other worlds, I understand that I grew up with what some would call privilege since my mother was white. I also understand that because I am half black, I wasn't always accepted by both sides. From one side, I was too dark and would experience racial prejudice from some of the white family members, and teachers, and classmates. Moreover, although the black community accepted me, there were moments where I could not relate to my darker-skinned friends because I was "light-skinned."
Although I have had some advantages and disadvantages as a biracial child, I learned how to build bridges with people from different ethnic backgrounds by learning how to speak others' languages, have compassion, and respect people regardless of who they are and where they come from.
I. We must learn how to speak each other's language.
If you think about it, language is a massive part of any communication. The ability or disability to understand each other's language determines the success or failure of that relationship. If you think of it, language does not always refer to the world's languages; it can refer to how we understand each other. I remember years ago having a conversation with my dad about race and why many of the faculty at my white school were treating me with prejudice. One of the biggest things that stood out to me from that conversation was when he told me that they do not understand how to relate to people like me. Part of the reason I experienced racial prejudice was that they have never had to work with someone who looked like me. I had to learn that these teachers and fellow students have only been exposed to people that looked, acted, and thought as they did. Often, when we have only exposed ourselves to people who look and act as we do, there is a natural discord when encountering people who look and act differently. To better understand, I had to step into their shoes and allow them to step into mine.
Like I had to allow my white friends to step into my shoes, I had to do the same with my black friends. As I said before, I had the privilege of growing up with some benefits. Part of that privilege was because my mother was white, but the other was that my parents had achieved some success in their careers, allowing me to grow up in a nice neighborhood. Some would argue that part of this success was because my father leveraged my mother's privilege to the table. But I will continue this thought in another blog. Because I was in a nice area and lived in a nice house, some of my friends would get jealous of me because they did not have what I had. At first, I didn't understand why they felt that way until I was able to get a glimpse of their world. I gained a better understanding of their world by exposing myself to their communities and the places they grew up. I then experienced how darker-skinned people were treated by the police vs. white and light-skinned people. It was there that I learned about colorism, and how biracial kids like myself were treated during the slavery days, and how they got to stay in the house and had access to certain privileges that darker-skinned black kids did not have access to. It was then that I learned what "redlining" and "systemic racism" even meant.
Moreover, it wasn't until I stepped into the other person's shoes that I could establish a deeper understanding of my black and white communities, allowing me to strengthen and understand both worlds.
It is the same thing with business; if we want to mend the racial divide systemically, we must intentionally step into each other's shoes and learn their language. It is by learning each other’s language that we can break down barriers. As mentioned before, our language comes in many different forms. Whether it be body language, demeaner, conduct etc. When we understand each other’s language, we can better understand what is acceptable, and what is not acceptable. One thing I learned at a young age was there were some things I could get away with some of my white friends, that I could not get away with my black friends. At first I thought some of these things were funny or cool, but I had to learn that what is accepted with some people, may not be acceptable with another.
For example, recently there were two mutual friends that I have, who had a conversation with each other. One of those friends was Caucasian male, while the other is African American woman. Although these two people do have a good relationship, my African American friend got offended by something my Caucasian friend said to them. It turned out that my Caucasian friend felt sorry that He offended her, but he did not understand why she was offended. He went on to tell me that he mentioned to her that he didn’t see her as black, he saw her as a human being. I then explained to him that although he meant well, that statement is offensive to many people because in the black community, being black does not only attribute to your skin color. It includes your culture and identity. Therefore, if you tell them that you do not see them as black, you are then telling them that you do not appreciate them. Once I explained that to him, he was able to reconcile the relationship because he better understood her and her language.
In business we understand this as well. If you have ever had the opportunity to travel, you will notice how some things are sold a certain way in America verses other parts of the world. The purpose to this is because if a company wants their product to be able to sell, they must adjust it to that particular market they are selling to. For instance, a couple of years ago my wife and I had the opportunity to celebrate our 10 year anniversary in Hawaii. Moreover, one thing I noticed was that the McDonalds in Hawaii had Pineapple included with their meals. This was something McDonalds does not do in the mainland. Why is that? Because McDonalds understood that although Hawaii a part of the U.S., they had to adapt to the Hawaiian culture. The reality is, America has become a melting pot. It is no longer just white and black, it is made up of people from all over the globe. And we must learn each other’s language to break down barriers and enrich each other’s businesses and lives.
II. We must have compassion for each other.
Because I learned how to speak the language of both my white community and the black community, I learned how to have compassion for both sides.
Many times, we tend to associate compassion with empathy or sympathy. Sympathy is the feeling that you care and are sorry about the trouble, grief, and misfortune someone has had. Empathy allows you to feel the thoughts and experiences of someone else's suffering and trauma. However, compassion is not just feeling and understanding someone's pain but taking action necessary to help them out of their misery.
It is compassion that allows us to build the bridge that closes the racial divide. It is compassion that will enable us to look at how we have systemically run things and dare change our systems. The reality is, although people of color have suffered the worst from racism in America, racism has hurt both sides of the spectrum. On one side, the black community was traumatized through the history of racism in America, stemming from slavery, and has continued in lower-income neighborhoods, schools, policing, the judicial system, and even how some companies have hired their employees, which has led to unequal opportunities. However, on the other end, today, many people of the white community have been hurt by always having the race card pulled. Some have been deservingly so, but in many cases, it has been undeserving. They have been hurt because they are accused of the sins of their ancestors. Although many white Europeans have brought African Americans over on the slave ships and abused them and written Jim Crow laws, at the same time, it was many white Americans that attributed to the end of slavery and the civil rights movement. People who helped end slavery and supported the civil rights movement had compassion. They did not just feel the anguish of how African Americans were being treated; they were willing to step in and help them do what was necessary to bridge the gap.
In this instance, I look to my father, who was a black man. Although my father achieved some success in his business, a large part of that was because a white man had compassion for him and helped him get on his feet. With all of this said, I am not saying that the white community always must support the black and brown communities, but I am saying that we must all have compassion for each other and be willing to help each other out.
III. We must learn how to love and respect each other.
One of the biggest things I have learned as a biracial child regarding race is that everyone desires to be loved and respected. Love is the thing that edifies and builds. When we have a general love for one another, that is the thing that will move us to action. When you love someone, you will take the necessary steps to help them in their state. Regarding respect, some people will say that you must earn respect before it is given. Although this statement is true to a degree, we must also respect people as human beings first. We all have one thing in common, regardless of race or gender is that we are all human beings. Since we are all human beings, we have the right to be treated as human beings. We all deserve equal rights and opportunities. However, if we are to be respected, it also means that we are acknowledged. Through acknowledgment, we can recognize our history, culture, and learn to appreciate each other's differences.
If you think of respect, it means valuing and including someone or thing. We must learn to appreciate people if we desire to mend relationships, make partnerships, and get the best out of our friendships, business, colleagues, or employees. When we value people, we esteem them to be valuable. We believe they have something important to bring to the relationship, business, and world. When someone feels that they are valued, that means that they feel that they are heard and are essential. As a result, they will want to bring their best to the table and add value to the relationship or business.
To respect also means to include. When we include people, this means that we are considerate of them. Are we considerate of how people feel? Are we considerate of how our decisions impact their lives? When we learn to be inclusive, this is what allows us to go beyond our bias and broaden our perspective.
As a biracial child, I learned to respect people from different backgrounds and cultures. I had to learn how to respect their culture and how they did things. I learned how to be kind to people regardless of their beliefs, status, or race. Because of this, there were many bridges I was able to build with people that looked different than me. By being respectful, kind, and considerate, I learned to include people. When I say that we need to respect and include people, I am not saying that we must agree with how they choose to live their lives. How they choose to live their lives is ultimately up to them. But what I am saying is that when we learn to respect and include that person, we also allow creativity to flow, increase our perspective, and by doing so, we can work together and produce something beautiful.
In conclusion, although this blog has painted the picture of America being in black and white, I believe the principles I learned as a biracial child can be applied when relating to all people. If we want to mend the racial divide, we must be willing to understand each other's language, have compassion, and learn to love and respect each other's differences.
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